The RBC Canadian Open will have terrifying crane-hoisted seats

The RBC Canadian Open has got you covered if you like the idea of unique seats for sporting events. This weekend, new “Skyline Seats” will be available on the 1st and 18th hole, and they are absolutely terrifying.

theScore Bet, who are the betting partner of the Canadian Open, told The Canadian Press about their reasoning behind the bizarre new seating arrangement for fans.

“We thought ‘O.K., how can we show up the Canadian Open in a way that actually adds value and creates an experience that enhances the bettor and the fan’s experience?’” said Aubrey Levy, senior vice-president of content and marketing for theScore Bet. “Somehow we landed on this idea of ‘what what would be a better viewing experience?’”

On the one hand, yeah these seats would rock. Watching golf live is about the experience of being there, not the viewing joy of it all — because it’s inherently terrible to watch live. These seats definitely remedy that problem. There’s just one issue: Being suspended by a giant crane.

I cannot imagine a scenario where it would be beneficial to be suspended above the earth for a fixed period of time with strangers, unable to leave, even if it’s only for 30 minutes. There are myriad things I can think of that would go wrong, but here’s just a small sample of the less horrifying, but still terrible possibilities:

  1. The whole thing sways and spills food and drink everywhere
  2. Someone has a legitimate panic attack at the table
  3. A fan goes up who is drunk and starts puking while at the top
  4. Birds fly in and start trying to steal food
  5. A fan thinks it would be funny to shake the whole thing and make it sway
  6. Bees. I don’t have a better explanation than bees

More power to anyone with the bravery to sit 100 feet in the air, but I’d rather do literally anything else.

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